The health of Alexander Leeper
The health of Robert Louis Stevenson
A summary of the Stevenson health controversies
A summary of the Leeper hypochondria controversy
The Health Biographies
Of Alexander Leeper, Robert Louis Stevenson, And Fanny Stevenson © 2001 By M.A.Banfield
Incorporating The Bird Flu ( Avian Influenza ) Webpage © 24-10-05
The Health Biographies of Alexander Leeper, Robert Louis Stevenson, and Fanny Stevenson The Bird Flu; learning from the nineteenth century plagues
If you wish to link to this webpage you can do so by copying and pasting the following text onto your webpage and then linking the address using the edit menu. Also see The Health Biographies Of Alexander Leeper, Robert Louis Stevenson, And Fanny Stevenson http://users.chariot.net.au/~posture/stevensonbiowebpage.html
The Three Wise Monkeys, the laughing kookaburra, and The Bird Flu © I don't think that this is an original story, but I will tell it in my own words anyway.
Three wise monkeys were sitting in a clearing in the middle of an African jungle when a rogue elephant came stampeding towards them.
The first monkey pretended that nothing was happening in the hope that the elephant would ignore him and go away, and he was trampled to death.
The elephant turned around and stampeded again and the second monkey panicked and froze on the spot, and he was trampled to death.
The third wise monkey had observed that ignorance and fear didn't solve any problems so he decided to do something, anything at all, because anything would have to to be better than nothing, and he turned around, and luckily, saw a river not far away with a rope bridge across it. He headed off at a casual pace, hoping that the elephant would see that he was no threat, and he reached the bridge and decided to walk across it in the hope that the elephant couldn't swim, but he kept planning ahead and thought to himself "If that ruddy elephant jumps into the river and swims across, I will walk back and forth across that bridge until the silly pachyderm wears himself out and drowns".
Unfortunately, that monkey hasn't been seen since, and as you know, ladies and gentlemen, not even the best laid plans work as they should all the time, but we have to do something or we will all be the hopeless victims of our fate, so last week, with that in mind, an Australian kookaburra who always laughed at everything,.and lived in a big chookhouse because he couldn't fly, decided, for reasons known only to himself, to learn a bit about Avian Influenza. He paddled a row boat through torrential storms and hurricanes across the seven seas, and traipsed his way through a jungle on his way to the Central African Bird Flu Conference, and found himself in that very same clearing surrounded by a hundred man-eating lions.
They all attacked from every direction at once and as they got close enough for the kookaburra to smell their hungry breath, and then as their claws were at his belly, and their teeth were at his throat, he wondered what to do. Just then the earth began to tremble and shake, and he thought "Well then, that is typical; things always seem to get worse before they get better, and now I must be in the middle of a ruddy earthquake!!". At that same instant every one of those lions fled in fear as a thousand angry elephants came stampeding through the jungle, and there he was, just an ordinary kookaburra,.wondering "How much worse can things get before they get better?"
He didn't know what to do next, but he knew that he had to do something so he watched carefully as the strongest and mightiest of the elephants was leading the rest toward him, It was the big rogue elephant, and as it came thundering closer and closer the kookaburra thought to himself "I'm not dead yet, but if I don't come up with a really good idea quick, I soon will be."
Just then, he waw a monkey come out from behind a bush where he had been hiding from the 100 hungry lions, and as he rushed bye at break neck speed he yelled "Run for the bridge." M.B.