Just for a Laugh or Humor To Brighten Your Day

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JUST FOR A LAUGH

OR

HUMOUR TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY.

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Note:

To the best of my knowledge the humour used in this web page is in the public domain.

A HUGE Thanks To:

The Many Unknown Authors

and

DailyComix
http://www.dailycomix.com/

and
Netdummy Humor
http://www.netdummy.com/

For The Humour Found On This Page

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Here is the list of how to be annoying:

Call up your neighbours and ask if they have instant coffee. Then five minutes later ask them for a kettle.

Ask your neighbours if they have any old items they don't want so you can sell them at a garage sale. Then ask if you can use their garage.

Invite your neighbours to join the religion you just made up.

Insist that you've seen one of them on Americas Most Wanted.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Drum on every available surface.

Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Ask 800 operators for dates.

Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.

Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".

Set alarms for random times.

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip...."

Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavour off.

Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

Wear your pants backwards.

Leave your "LED ZEPPELIN" in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.

Publically investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Dress only in clothes coloured Hunter's Orange.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.

Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".

Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

only type in lowercase.

dont use any punctuation either

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re-route whole streets.

Pay for your dinner with pennies.

Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination /UFO /O.J.Simpson conspiracy theories.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."

Light road flares on a birthday cake.

Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

Drive half a block.

Name your dog "Dog".

Name your cat "Cat"

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

Ask people what gender they are.

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think!"

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.

Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".

Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "A".

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist that you "like it that way".

Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

Wear a LOT of cologne/perfume.

Never use deoderants or colognes/perfumes, claiming your prefer the more "natural you".

Ask to "interface" with someone.

Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".

Sing along at the opera.

Mow your lawn with scissors.

At a golf tournament, chant
"swing-batabatabatabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."

Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Never make eye contact.

Never break eye contact.

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

Construct your own pretend "tri-corder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Answer yes to open-ended questions.

Laugh hysterically during sad parts of movies.

Have a long conversation on your mobile whilst at the movies.

Hum the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" over and over.

Perpusly mispel evrything yuu wright.

Greet people by pinching their cheeks and telling them how much they've grown.

Pretend to have a nervous twitch.

Order a "cheeseburger, hold the cheese".

Go trick-or-treating on a day other than Halloween.

Upon entering an elevator, hit all the buttons.

Sniff every bite of food before eating it.

Swish your jell-o around in your mouth.

Snort loudly when you laugh.

Mail empty envelopes to people.

Use irrelevant clichés in every conversation.

Throw french-fries into other people's cars when driving.

Whilst in a conversation, continually try to anticipate what the person is trying to say, and tell them what you think it is, before they have had a chance to say it. (Doctors are very good at this).

Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know. Or better yet, tell everyone that there is a spell on these comic pages, and that they must send copies of these pages to at least fifty people they know.

Web Page Links:

http://www.chariot.net.au/~kday/comic1
http://www.chariot.net.au/~kday/comic2
http://www.chariot.net.au/~kday/comic3
http://www.chariot.net.au/~kday/comic4
http://www.chariot.net.au/~kday/comic5
http://www.chariot.net.au/~kday/comic6
http://www.chariot.net.au/~kday/comic7
http://www.chariot.net.au/~kday/comic8

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Produced by Karen Day: kday@chariot.net.au; South Australia; Last updated: 30/06/2000; Version 1.0

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